#31ShortHorrors – Help Wanted, Inquire Within

October 8, 2015

Help Wanted

We are a large multinational nonprofit organization entering an aggressive growth phase.

You are a newly dead, eldritch, supercilious, amorphous-form-in-flux.

We have a comprehensive training program designed to structure your future and yourself. We are six sigma, lean, and team-oriented.

You feel the need to reach out, touch base, shift a paradigm, leverage a best practice and join a tiger team. Our organization represents the bleeding edge of recruitment, and we’ll empower YOU to grow the ranks!

Your core competency? Taking people down.

Your swim lane? Getting your targets’ buy-in. Most people are not stoked about dying. Sell them on it. Planet Earth is a burning platform and it is ready for you to move the needle with the charge of Destiny!

Our business model is NOT a pinball machine. Take’em down, bring’em in. That’s all you need to do.

Are you ready to SIMPLIFY and AMPLIFY the future? Take the wheel!

Call 1-800-DEAD-NOW to speak with a recruiting specialist today! Immediate, on-site interviews, full benefits plus survivor bonuses apply. Call today!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s